Conversations: Step Families

Hello Everyone!

Here we are in November and it’s the same old, same old….time is flying.  As if we didn’t already feel that we were racing against time some days…when scanning the aisles for last minute Halloween goodies, and you turn to see stockings and candy canes hung with care behind you, it’s difficult to keep it in mind to practice living in the present and making the most of each moment.

But we keep trying!

To focus on making the most of our time, I’m going to post our first conversation topic, posted by a reader.

If you are a stepparent or child, a professional with experience working with step or blended families, or just have something helpful and encouraging to say….your thoughts and insights are very much appreciated.  Please send your feedback via the submission form, or by writing to

*Remember, that all submissions are kept strictly confidential and no identifying or contact information will be publicly posted.

The following message was submitted by a Matters reader;

I think one of my struggles that others experience is the adaptation to step children.  Big adjustment from different perspectives.  There are three factors that apply to my particular scenario.  1.  They do not live with us, but is a fairly regular visitation schedule.  2.  I do not have children of my own  3.  One child is an adult – so that whole interaction is different again.  I am embarrassed to admit but there is a struggle around awkwardness still after being together for years.  I have never really seeked  resources as I had never really put that much thought into it until you posed this conversation challenge.  I see other families where it appears the whole transition to merging families was seemingly seamless – and perhaps they were.  However, I would like to strengthen my bond with his children especially as I dont have any of my own and this is a void for me.  I also worry (now you got me started lol) that because my spouse has been given a shortened life expectancy that when he passes I would no longer have a relationship with these kids.  So, in a nutshell that is something not only personal but something others must experience as well.

Thank you for taking the time to open up about your personal experiences.  Sharing experiences not only helps us to personally navigate problem solving strategies and choices to work our way through our own issues, but it lets others in similar situations know that they are not alone.  Helen Keller once said that “alone we can do so little, together we can do so much.”

It’s so true.  Let’s get this conversation started and learn from each other how we have dealt with like issues and situations.  Support.  Understanding.  Empowerment.

Please visit the following link to find out more about Step and Blended Families.

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